I made many mistakes in my hair care and I am sure I am still making some. But there are three mistakes that I always notice with my readers when I read such sentences, for example:
- My hair looks like yours on the previous photo. Can you tell me your products?
- I’ve tried so many products, but nothing helps and my curls just don’t look the way I want them to.
- Which products can you recommend to me?
- How do I get my curls to become even curlier?
I recognize myself 100% in these sentences. But unfortunately they also show that many curly heads make exactly the same mistakes that I have made for years.
And these mistakes cost a lot of money, time and energy. But above all, you always kick your self-confidence in the butt. And I do not want that. Your poor self-confidence ass 😉
Therefore, I will show you exactly below and explain how you can recognize and avoid these errors
1. I Didn’t Know My Own Curls
By far the biggest mistake I made for years was that I had no idea how my hair actually ticked. I knew that I had shaggy heads that felt like straw growing out of my head (so you couldn’t really call it curls at the time).
When I started doing curly care and reading ingredients & blog posts 4 years ago, I completely ignored one thing
My own hair.
That may sound a bit strange now, after all, hair care is ultimately about hair.
But the way I did it was about ingredients, oils, products, other curly heads and what worked and what didn’t. But it’s not about what works for my hair.
I just had no idea what my hair needed.
Ok I knew they weren’t smooth. Kind of curly and dry too. I didn’t know any more. I never even thought that I might and should know more about my hair.
I thought that was not important.
For me it was only important to try new products or to follow any rules. I just thought I would get the curls like the girls in the pictures. After all, their before pictures looked like my hair!
So I chose my products using the Curly Girl method. I paid attention to the harmful ingredients and followed the rules. Then it should finally work.
Unfortunately, that didn’t work. My hair was really nice at the beginning but after 2-3 weeks it became streaky, I got dandruff and my scalp started to itch. I was frustrated and annoyed. It was probably not the right care for me.
You could assume that I finally came to the understanding and understood that I have to choose products for my hair.
I thought … ha then I just have to try this product or that method.
Only after half a year and a lot of money (exactly 596.20 €) did I get the idea that I might have to examine my own curls. So I started to deal with hair and hair structure and only then did I finally understand my curls and adjust my care accordingly.
So what can you learn from my mistake
Deal with your hair.
How do you feel How do you look How do you react
You should really watch this every day, or at least after every wash day. If you are as nerdy as I am, write down these observations and document them in a curly diary (Instagram is also perfect for this – can also be done privately and without influencer intentions ;-)). This is the only way to find out how your hair reacts to certain products, combinations, surroundings, application techniques, etc.
You should also know the properties (hair thickness, porosity, elasticity, etc.) of your hair. This article can help you with that.
If you know your hair, you will also make the 2nd mistake much less often.
2. I Bought Products on Recommendation
And there were really many. My bathroom looked like a drug store.
I only bought products because Blogger X, YouTube Star Y or someone from a Facebook group recommended them and had good experiences with them myself. I wanted the same curls and I paid no attention to whether the products fit my hair or not.
I’ve spent hundreds of euros (see mistake # 1) just hoping to get those curls.
But that backfired and I didn’t understand why at all.
Only after I started to deal with my hair and found out that my fine hair, for example, absolutely couldn’t stand shea butter, did I know why. Because almost all of my products contained shea butter. Do not get me wrong. Shea butter is not fundamentally harmful, the butter can be a great ingredient if your curls like it too.
Therefore, please do not trust any product recommendation blindly.
Not even mine.
I can only examine the curl products that I list here on my blog for harmful ingredients. They are generally suitable for curls. However, what I cannot do is adapt shampoo, conditioner, etc. to your personal hair. Unfortunately, this is not possible from a distance 😉
Therefore, do not blindly buy the products on my blog. Always read the ingredients beforehand and check whether they also fit your hair.
If you have no idea how to do it, get my e-book “Curly care with brains – find your ideal care products in just 6 steps”. In addition, as a gift for the book, there is a bonus list with over 70 product recommendations, all of which cost less than € 10. Because with the background knowledge from the book, such a product list really brings you something and you can confidently check the ingredients and choose the care that really suits you and your hair.
But none of this was as bad for my self-confidence as the following error:
3. I Compared Myself to Others
In fact, I have always compared myself to others, at least as far as my hair is concerned.
Before, before the internet, it was my girlfriends and the ladies from television. Almost all of my friends had straight and shiny hair. They never seemed to have problems (when they nagged about frizz in the rain, I could only laugh aloud) and I was so jealous of their hair.
Even in the evening on the couch while watching TV, I was constantly overwhelmed by bad feelings about my hair. Finally, the lady from the advertising kept telling me the silky straight hair, which is a bad ideal for beauty.
I felt ugly when I was 16. Only because of my hair.
I hated and hid my curls. Mostly in the braid, sometimes I straightened them out with a flat iron or blow dryer. So they were at least shiny. However, I did not look like myself, much older and the straight hair just didn’t match my chaotic & happy character.
In the end, only the scissors helped.
It was not until I was 25 that I finally started accepting my curls and from then on I wanted to get the best out of them.
But honestly, then the same crap started again. Just this time in a different direction.
It was no longer the advertising that frustrated me, but the great curly pictures on the Internet and the perfectly styled curly heads on YouTube. I wanted hair like that! I sat in front of the laptop for days and weeks, watched videos and put my hair in hair masks for hours. That would all have been ok if I hadn’t always expected to get the curls immediately like the one from the photo or the video.
I was desperate, frustrated and annoyed.
Fortunately, over time I became more relaxed, my curls healthier and I started to love them. Still, I always wanted more.
I wanted them to be curly. Much more curly. I sat in front of the computer for hours again and tried to find out how my curls could become even curlier. I tried everything possible: used curling enhancers, tried finger coiling, kneaded until you drop etc.
But it didn’t really bring anything.